


The Road to Recovery

by WhiteRipple



Series: Inheritance [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Closure, Depression, Five Stages of Grief, M/M, Recovery, Self-Hatred, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, not a true happy ending, past McHanzo, past r76 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-15 08:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11227140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteRipple/pseuds/WhiteRipple
Summary: Jesse McCree has had the blood of many people, it was something that he has accepted since he was nine years old. Once Hanzo Shimada's name was added to that list, however, it left Jesse in a cycle of despair. Now he wanders in order to forget and in order to forgive himself. He wonders if he could forgive himself for killing the one person he loved the most.Meanwhile in the shadows he is being watched by people of all sides. Some are trying to help and some are trying to drag him down into the dirt. Jesse McCree must accept the will that he inherited or die trying.





	1. Denial

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a continuation of the first story, Breaking Spirits. So it is recommended to read that before reading this story for it to make more sense.

_“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”_

_**–Anne Lamott** _

 

 

Jesse McCree couldn’t help but feel numb all throughout his body. He could feel the raging heat that was on his neck and arm. Jesse could feel what was once the raging power that was once Hanzo Shimada’s. He hadn’t moved away from Hanzo’s body, he was still in his arms.It had been long enough that the body in his arms started to feel cold. The blood around him already began to dry, the rich scent of iron filled his nostrils. Jesse couldn’t find it in him to care about that. He just continued to stare at the gray face of what was the most important person in his life. He was alone now, the two small red dragons vanished a while back so it was just him.

The sun was lowering, it was getting into the afternoon hours now. He should get going, Jesse couldn’t face everyone after what he did. He couldn’t face Genji, he couldn’t face any of the others. How was he supposed to explain that he was the one who shot Hanzo. How could he explain to the rest of the team that he became on of Talon’s puppets. Or how Hanzo worked to the very end to set him back straight.

Jesse McCree was a free man but it came with a price.

“Han… I’m so sorry.” He muttered to the person that was once his lover. Jesse moved his hand and reached to communicator that was on Hanzo’s ear. He pressed a button that was supposed to be used for emergencies. The soft beeping sound reached his ears let him know that the signal would be reaching Winston soon. Jesse gently placed Hanzo down on the ground and took the man’s arms, which were getting stiff and hard to work with, and placed them on Hanzo’s chest. He swallowed the lump in his throat, or at least tried to swallow it. No matter how many times he tried it was still there, it made it hard to breathe. Jesse stood up and began to walk away. It took all of his willpower to not look back. He let out a bitter chuckle, it was just like him to ruin something he loved. He had done it in the past so why would it be different now?

‘So what will you do now, Master?’ Jiro asked, the once blue dragon now held a red hue.

‘Will you go back to Overwatch?’ Kojiro the second dragon floated next to Jesse.

Jesse didn’t answered their questions, he knew that the dragons already sensed what he was going to do. He didn’t want to hurt any of his comrades, he didn’t know if the dragons really kept whatever Talon did to him at bay all the time. What if he slipped and he killed someone else? What if he killed someone and it would make Overwatch the prime target of aggression again? He couldn’t risk it, he couldn’t risk destroying the hard work that everyone poured in. All of them have been working so hard to get Overwatch back to what it once was. An organization to protect the world from itself.

Jesse glanced around the Watchpoint, he had memories of this place. He remembered when he came here with Reyes and Morrison. He remembered that this place was a haven for all of them. That they could be themselves for a short time, no officials from the UN breathing down their necks. No missions that they had to do. This place protected them from the public, Jesse would see the sides of all his co-workers that they didn’t show to the public. How Jack actually joined him to pull practical jokes on Gabriel. Or how Gabriel actually loved to sing and would often serenade to Jack here, despite the embarrassment the latter felt at the notion.

It almost made a sick contrast, given what he had just done.

Still, Jesse McCree was nothing if not good at looking after his own hide. He didn’t know where to go, he didn’t really have a plan of action. He just needed to get away from everything otherwise he could go insane… could he go insane? The dragons did managed to piece together his broken mind and pulled him out of the darkness that Talon placed him into. He could barely remember the times he was in captivity, it was just a blur. The dragons just followed Jesse along, they didn’t say anything.

Jesse wondered what would the others say when they find Hanzo? Would they figure out that it was him? Would they think that it was some sort of assassin? The feeling within his heart made it hard to breathe,Part of him wondered if he was even alive anymore. He had killed the one person that made him feel like he was more than just a man with a gun. Hanzo made him feel like he was worth to be a human being. Even Gabriel didn’t do that, for all his attention and love for him. Gabriel was different, the man couldn’t express love right. It was part of the reason for the rift between him and Morrison before things went bad.

The large doors closed behind him, Jesse had to move fast to get out of the area. He couldn’t allow Overwatch to find him. He couldn’t allow them to see what he had become, what he did. He needed to get away, he needed to do something. Jesse wasn’t even sure what he needed to do, he felt so empty, so alone. It was something that he had to deal with for the rest of his life. And so Jesse McCree began his journey to just lose himself in the world. He needed to clean himself and keep moving.

\--  
Keeping himself on the road and continue to wander was an easy thing for Jesse. He had done it for years after Overwatch fell. He knew what to avoid and how to take for himself. Before he would have tried to be a hero, a vigilante. At that point he felt that if he could live up to the expectations that not only he set himself but that Morrison and Reyes believed in at one point, then he would be doing something good in their memory. With acting outside of the law, with delivering justice came the price of being infamous. With being infamous came the bounties and the headhunters. Jesse had been proud of that, he knew that it would catch up to him one day but he didn’t mind it whatsoever.

Now it was different, the fire that he had in his youth was gone. He didn’t think he could live up to anyone’s wishes or beliefs anymore. With how easy it was to manipulate them, with how easy it was for him to change his heart and do what he did. He didn’t even remember all of it. He only remembered a few of them, but there was nothing he could have done. Logically he knew that much, he knew that no matter how much he could have resisted there was only so much he could have done. He was only human, but it still hurt.

It wasn’t fair

He went to a bar that was far enough away from the Watchpoint, with his broken Italian he was able to get himself a couple of bottles of the strongest whiskey they had. He wanted to drown his sorrows, he needed to. It hurt too much to think. If he was left alone with this thoughts he wasn’t sure what he would do. So he gave in to his comfort. The first shot was the hardest, it had been months since he had anything to drink. The burning sensation that went down his throat felt liberating.

“Goddamn it Han, why me?” Jesse asked himself, he was in the corner of the bar and there was no one around him. Even the bartender had left him alone after he brought Jesse his drink. He was alone, it was something that he should have expected. He was meant to be alone, anything he touched would always rot away eventually. It happen with Deadlock, it happen with Reyes and Morrison, and now it happened with Hanzo. It made him wonder why did Hanzo chose to do this and not kill him outright. Jesse knew that at the time he was a threat to other people. He was a threat to Hanzo.So why did the archer tried to hard to give him a chance to live? McCree poured himself another shot and drowned it in one go. “You’re still there ain’t ya Han?”

Of course he wasn’t, Jesse knew that. He knew that Hanzo would never find him where he was. He would never tell him off for being AWOL for so long without a reason. That he would never scold him for drinking so much. He would never join him for a drink. Hanzo would never tell him that it would be okay to feel the way he felt. Because Hanzo was no longer there. Jesse knew all of this but he couldn’t accept it, he just couldn’t. Even the tattoo, one which he made himself look when he examined the source of the heat and pain, felt wrong on his skin. It was the same tattoo as Hanzo’s. Except it was a mixture of red and yellow. It wasn’t the blue hue that made Jesse think of a storm when he saw it on Hanzo’s arm. The thing that stared back of him was an ugly shade of reds and yellows, resembling more of the desert heat than any storm.

“You can’t be gone yet Han.” You promised. It was something that he wanted to say. But the truth of the matter was that Hanzo was gone. Jesse McCree couldn’t accept it. He couldn’t accept that the one good thing that has happened in his life was gone. That the one thing that he wanted to keep selfishly was not longer at his reach. Now that Hanzo was gone he felt that he took the other man for granted. All those times that he should have told the other how much he loved him and how much he cherished him were wasted.

Another regret, another shot.

Jesse was done with the first bottle and was starting on the second one. Logically he shouldn’t be drinking so much, he knew he had to continue to move soon enough. He could only stay here for another day before he had to reach Spain. From there he can take a boat back to the US. After that, he wasn’t sure. Jesse was always the man that went in guns blazing and let others to the planning and the sneaking around. In fact that was why he worked so well with Hanzo. He took care of what Jesse couldn’t see and the man planned for everything. Hanzo was the best partner, lover, that he could have asked for.

 _‘You should stop this, Master’_ Jiro appeared on the table. He was small, smaller than a house cat. _‘Getting drunk will not help.’_

“Jus’ shut up.” McCree said, his speech becoming slurred with each drink. “Let me mourn in peace.”

_The small red dragon didn’t say anything before nodding and disappearing. Jesse was left alone again. He pulled out his wallet and placed money on the table as he stumbled out of the bar. It was night now, and Jesse made his way to a motel. It was cheap and it would keep him hidden. Usually the places that he chose they never asked questions no matter who it was. He flopped himself on the bed. Jesse stared back at the ceiling, not sure if he wanted to go to sleep. He knew that each time he would close his eyes he could see Hanzo’s body surrounded in a pool of blood. Eventually Jesse succumbed to his urge to sleep, afraid of what would happen within his own mind_

_Jesse looked down at Hanzo in his arms, he looked so much different in the privacy of their bedroom. The archer was sound asleep and Jesse could see how young and peaceful the other could look. The faint lines around the man’s forehead were there, from scowling so much. Jesse didn’t want to disturb his lover’s sleep so he stood still and just continued to observe the man. He had to wonder if this was what Reyes felt when he was with Morrison. The strong emotion of affection that was always there. No matter how much either one wanted to deny it, even to the end. Everyone around them could see it, at least if they took the time to look deep enough. If there was one thing that he wanted to avoid was to end up like them, to not make the same mistakes that they did._

_“You know that it is considered rude to stare at a person while they sleep.” Hanzo’s muffled voice could be heard. Jesse flinched in surprised as the man continued, Jesse could feel Hanzo’s warm breath on his chest. “Why are you doing up so early, I figured you would be asleep all day given its our day off.”_

_“Sorry Darlin’, couldn’t help but to stare at your pretty face.” Jesse chuckled as he held Hanzo closer. “What do wanna do today Darlin’?”_

_“Sleep.” Hanzo replied automatically. “I want to stay here with you all day. I do not want to go out, maybe another day but not today. My damn hips hurt, I hope you are proud of yourself.”_

_“Aw shucks, sweetpea, didn’t mean to make you ache like that. How about I kiss it better?”_

_“No, I know your game Jesse McCree.” Hanzo huffed as he turned to his side and covered himself with the blankets. “And I am not in the mood at the moment you insatiable horndog.”_

_“But I’m your horndog.”_

_“Perhaps, maybe I should teach this dog some discipline.”_

_“I like to see you try sugar.” Jesse chuckled. “I’m not easy to tame.”_

_“We shall see….” Hanzo mused before turning to look at Jesse. “I love you Jesse, never forget that.”_

_“I know darlin’. I love you too"_

Jesse woke up with a start, there were tears in the corner of his eyes. It was just a dream, a happy memory from when he and Hanzo were happy together. He laughed bitterly at whatever god was up there was having fun at his expense. How they ruined his life and how they ruined his only happiness. He wanted to make Hanzo happy, to give him a chance to let the other man know that he was allowed to search for happiness. Jesse even shared some of his dreams that he knew would never happen. He wanted a family, he wanted to help a kid out just like Reyes did for him. Jesse would remember that Hanzo would smile in the comfort of their own room and would never judge him for that. He was even willing to do what he could to help Jesse with that dream. In the end Hanzo wasn’t here anymore and Jesse doubted he could help anyone as he was now.

He touched his cheeks and could feel that they were tear soaked. Jesse let out a soft groan as he sat up. The two red dragons were on the floor looking up at him. Jesse couldn’t help but wonder why didn’t they just left him alone. He wanted to be alone, he wanted to be able to mourn in peace but he knew he couldn’t have that. Those two dragons were just a part of him as his arm and legs. The two small dragons moved around to rest on the bed.

“You’re just here for Hanzo right?” Jesse muttered to himself. “He’s got to come back... he wouldn’t let someone like me get the best of him.”

“Master, it is alri-” Kojiro began.

“I ain’t your master!” Jesse growled. “Hanzo is your master, I’m not him. I can’t be him!”

“WIll you get a grip on yourself Jesse McCree.” Jiro growled. “Whether you want to or not Hanzo Shimada let you inherit us. Whether you want to accept it or not you are our master, no one else. Hanzo Shimada is dead.”

“Don’ you fuckin’ say that you overgrown lizard.”

“You can only block Hanzo’s death for so long, time to grow up and accept it! Even if you had no fault whatsoever you still unwillingly caused this situation. So grow up and move on forward.”

“Calm down you two, I know it is hard to move on without Hanzo but we have to stick together and….”

“I did not want to be with this man Kojiro.” Jiro huffed in annoyance. “I do not know what Hanzo Shimada saw in you but I suppose he was wrong to believe in you.”

“It’s not like I asked for this!” Jesse countered. “Why don’t you leave me alone?”

“Fine…. If you want to act that way and be a child? We can give you what you wish.” Jiro looked at Kojiro and sighed. “Come Kojiro, our master gave us an order.”

“Alright, if you need our help just summon us when you need to.” Kojiro said before both dragons vanished.They wouldn’t understand, he wanted to be alone. Jesse didn’t want any sort of company, his chest hurt so bad. He knew what the reason for it was, he was waiting for Hanzo to come back. Part of his mind wanted Hanzo to find him, to appear all of a sudden on the window ledge like he used to after missions.

 _‘But then why am I hiding?’_ He thought bitterly.

Jesse stood from the bed and went to the restroom to wash his face. He then changed into the new clothing that he bought yesterday. He bought a duffel bag along with the clothing. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a red and white flannel shirt. He tossed his old chaps in the trash, he glanced at his red serape and his hat. He placed both of those things along with his old clothing into the bag. Part of him wanted to leave something behind with Hanzo, so that the archer had a piece of him as they buried him. Jesse shook his head, both to take that feeling away and to focus back to what he was doing. He walked out of the room without a second thought and began to make his way towards the road.

“That’ll do it.” Jesse said as headed out, he raised his head a little to look at the sky. It was a bright and sunny day. There were only a few clouds in the sky, he wondered if Hanzo was watching the same sky back at the watchpoint. He just needed a little bit more time before he can go back. Maybe bring some gifts for Hanzo so that was he can distract the man from being too angry at him. He knew how Hanzo would get angry if he did something stupid, Jesse knew that he would surely get it if he went home now. Without his communicator he couldn’t contact Hanzo or anyone really. He would just have to apologize to all of them for making them worry.

“Jesse…” Jiro muttered but the man in question ignored it. He must be tired still, he was starting to hear voices. Jesse adjusted his bag and continued to head towards someplace. He wasn’t sure where to yet but he would continue to go forward. He just needed time to let things settle down. Maybe he would work around places and finally have the nerve to ask Hanzo for his hand in marriage. Just like how Reyes did to Morrison once. He would work hard and gather enough money to buy a ring that was right for Hanzo. Nothing but the best for his sweatpea, that was what Hanzo deserved.

“You are nothing more than a deserter, Jesse McCree….”

That voice sent shivers down his spine, he shook his head to try to forget that sentence. It was just nothing more than a trick of the mind. Jesse rubbed his eyes only to find them still soaked with tears. When had he started to cry? There was nothing to be sad about, he went around to reach for his gun but he couldn’t see it on his holster. It was not there, he looked inside of the bag and it was not there as well. He just shrugged it off, it was just a gun. He could ask to get a new one later. It didn’t seem to matter much to Jesse.

The people around him were weary of him, they were staring at Jesse as if he was a dangerous thug. Which technically with the stuff he did in the past he sorta was. He didn’t mind, it made things easier if he didn’t anger anyone from these parts. The last thing he needed was to have more money added to his bounty. He ignored the slight red that was peaking out between the cuff of his shirt and his glove. He ignored the cries of the two small dragons that no one but he could see.

Jesse ignored the gut wrenching pain that was on his chest. He tried so hard to feel like everything was alright. Jesse wanted to think that Hanzo was waiting for him back at Gibraltar. He desperately tried to ignore the images that danced in his mind each time he closed his eyes. How peaceful Hanzo looked after he killed by his own hand. He tried to ignore the blood that was on his fingers each time he took his glove off.

Everything was okay, the tears were just something that was stuck in his eyes. As long as he shaped his reality into what he wanted to see, he would be able to see Hanzo again.


	2. The Road Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse begins his journey back home, until he meets some strangers along the way.

_"Denial does not solve the problem. Denial does not make the problem go away. Denial does not give us peace of mind, which is what we are really seeking when we engage in it. Denial is a liar. It compounds the problem, because it keeps us from seeing a solution, and taking action to resolve it."_

**_-Bill Kotenbach_ **

 

 

It had been a couple of days since Jesse had made his way out of Lecce Italy, which was where the Watchpoint was and headed towards the ports in Spain. Jesse knew that it would take a bit of time before he could get to his destination. With very little money to his name and most of his belongings in his bag, he wasn’t sure if he could make it that far just by walking.  Still, it was something that he was willing to try. Jesse wasn’t going back to Gibraltar, he was afraid of Hanzo and what he might say.  He knew how the other could be when he was angry and Jesse wanted to stay clear of that.

“It’ll be just a bit more darlin’” Jesse muttered to himself. There was nothing but forest where he was walking. The road stretched far ahead of him, he wasn’t even sure where he was heading nor if he was heading in the right direction. But it was a direction and for Jesse that was enough for him. He used his hand to cover his eyes from the sun as he looked up. It was still bright and early, the heat of the summer was beginning to die down. It was beginning to change from the hot summer to the cool autumn.

If there was one thing that Jesse regretted was not getting a map to know where he was going. As far as he knew he was probably heading to India or China. He supposed that was part of the fun, that was part of the journey. It had been a while since it was just him out in the wild. He wanted Hanzo to come and join him as well but Jesse knew that the archer would deny coming along. The man could get testy just from missions, Jesse couldn’t imagine how Hanzo would be if he had to walk towards a destination for fun.

 _“You can not ignore for long._ ” Jiro growled in his ear but Jesse decided to ignore it. For all he knew that sound was just the wind playing tricks on him. His arm felt like there was lead on it. It felt burning hot like at any time it would just burn off his clothes. But Jesse soldier through it. Once he night fell or when he arrived at a small town he would have to look at his arm. For the moment he would enjoy his walking, even if he had no clue where he was going. At the rate that he was going he was going to have to find a place to hide for the night.

It was when a man was all alone that his thoughts would come back. There was no one really to talk to, so his imagination and his mind soared. Jesse began to think back when he worked in Blackwatch, how his life was back them. It was a whole lot better when he started in Deadlock but it wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t a hero, he did things that to this day haunted him in some way. But even so, the people that he was surrounded with made it worth it. He had made friends who would look after his back in the toughest of times.He had a father figure, not that he would really admit it, to look up to.

Gabriel Reyes was someone that Jesse Idolized in secret. He was the man that Jesse wanted to be. Gabriel was strong, tactical, had a lot of knowledge in and out of the battlefield. He was the most gentle with his allies and the most brutal when he had to be. Jesse could see part of the man breaking when he was with Gabriel. Looking back on it now, he should have said or done something. It made Jesse wonder that if he had taken the time to talk to both Reyes and Morrison that maybe, just maybe things would have turned out different. That maybe both of them would be alive and leading Overwatch the way they knew how.

_“Remember how useless you were?”_

Another voice hit him like a hammer, Jesse tried to shake that voice away. It was nothing more than a bad dream he had once. It had to be it, Gabriel was a lot of things but he would never say that to his men. His commander believed in them, and they believed in their commander. It was a bond that those in Blackwatch shared. But Jesse couldn’t help but to feel his eyes sting at the remark.It was painful, it was only five words but they weighed more than any stone slab could.

There was a loud honk that distracted his thoughts and Jesse looked at the small white car that stopped next to him. It was the first time that he noticed that the sun was going down and that the bright blue sky was now painted orange and purples. He was so into his thoughts that the time slipped away from him. Jesse looked at the driver as the young man lowed the windows. He could see the young man had black slid back hair. He was a bit scrawny with hazel eyes and olive skin.

 **“Mi scusi, avete un posto dove stare? si sta facendo tardi.”** The young man said something in Italian. Jesse furrowed his eyes to try to understand what the man said. It took a second but with his broken Italian he could only take a couple of the words that the man said.

“Mi dispiace, non parlo italiano” Jesse spoke back, he rubbed the back of his head. The man gave him a smile and nodded.

 **“Inglese?”** The man asked.

Jesse gave the man a nod. He almost wished that he would have paid more attention to his Italian, it would have made it a lot easier to communicate with the locals. The man in the car cleared his throat and tried again. “Do you have some place to stay?” Jesse could hear the thick accent with the man’s english. “Its getting late.”

“I’m just gonna walk to the next town.” Jesse shrugged as he adjusted the bag on his shoulder. “Thank you for worryin’”

“No, no,” The man shook his head. “Next town is in 4 hours on car.”

Jesse did the math in his head, even if he sprinted from where he was now he would arrive the next day. He would have to look for a place to make camp soon.  Find someplace to sleep and then the next morning he would try again. The man lightly shook his head. “You stay the night at my small villa with mi madre. I not going to leave you alone at night. Animals might eat you.”

“I don’ wanna be a bother.” Jesse began as the man let out a laugh.

“No bother, come on .” The man patted the seat next to him. A large part of him wanted to do nothing but to run into the forest. He shouldn’t trust what the man said. What if it was someone who wanted his bounty? However the thought of a roof over his head and food, not to mention for free outweighed his caution. Jesse figured that he could fight his way out of whatever trap this man could have. Jesse walked around the car and placed his bag in the back seat. He then sat down in the front. He slightly grimaced when he saw his dusty boots leaving dust and dirt on the floor.

From the angle where Jesse was sitting he could tell that the man was very lean. There wasn’t much muscle on him. As the man focused on the road Jesse took the time to carefully look at the car to see if he could find any sort of weapon that the man could use against him. He glanced back at the man when he heard a small chuckle. “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you. So are you uh… backpacking through Italy?”

“You could say that.” Jesse nodded. “I’m heading home.”

“Oh how nice,” The man grinned, it was as if he was talking to a friend and not a stranger he just picked up. “Wanted to do that too, but you know no time these days and I’m getting old.”

Jesse grunted in agreement, he wasn’t sure what to say to the stranger. He was more concerned on what to do if he had to fight the man. He was sure that he could beat him in a brawl but that didn’t mean that he could let his guard down for a moment. The man noticed his silence and Jesse tensed. The man let out a loud booming laugh that was strange coming from someone his size. “No fear!” The man said cheerfully as he wiped a tear. “I’m not going to hurt you. It is family custom to take care of lost souls.”

“Lost souls?”

“Yes,” The man nodded. “You are a lost soul, you are alone walking through Italy. Mama Valentina always said to help others in need. So I help you for a little bit.”

“You don’ have to….” Jesse paused for a moment before furrowing his eyebrows. “Didn’t catch your name.”

“Peiro,” He nodded. “I am italian, yes? What your name?”

“I”m Joel.” Jesse lied, the last thing he needed was for Peiro to realize who he really was and for the man to either panic or call the authorities. Both were not good choices for him. “Thank you kindly for your hospitality.”

“No thank me yet.” Piero said as he made a turn, they were heading into the forest, Jesse could see that this villa was hidden from the roads which was a good thing. He didn’t have to worry about being out and about for a while. It was only a few minutes when they arrived at the villa. It was a large stone home with ceramic roof tiles. The walls were painted white and around the property there was a wall to protect the home. Inside the courtyard Jesse could see plenty of plants, mostly herbs and tomatoes. “We are here, welcome Joel.”

They both got out of the car and Piero went to get Jesse’s bag. Jesse tried insisted that he could get it himself but the man laughed off and carried the bag. Jesse could see that he was making an effort to carry his things. As they got to the top of the stairs there was someone else there. Once he got closer he could see an elderly woman sipping a cup of coffee. The woman had her gray hair in a bun. She wore a long sleeve blouse with a navy shawl on top. She had a long skirt that reached below the knees and a pair of flats.

“Mama Valentina.” Piero placed Jesse’s bag down and got closer to the elderly woman. She extended her cheek out to her and Piero placed his own, Jesse heard a loud kissing noise before the man did the same to the other cheek. Piero turned to Jesse and his smile widened. “Joel this is Mama Valentina.”

 **“Benvenuto, piacere di conoscerla Joel.”** Valentina extended her hand out. Jesse took her hand and shook it once before letting go. She let out a smile before going back to her seat and taking a drink from her cup. There were a plate of biscotti next to her. Jesse straightened and looked at Valentina.

“molto lieto” Jesse said. “Uh…. signora ”

Valentina let out a small chuckle before she nodded and went back to a book that she was reading.  She beckoned Piero to come closer and whispered in his ear. Piero looked back at Jesse. “She said that are you allergic to anything?” Jesse shook his head and Valentina nodded and went back to her book. Piero laughed as he went to pick up Jesse’s bag and headed into the house with Jesse following behind. “She understands you can’t speak Italian.”

Inside the house was luxurious, dark oak furniture was all around him. The stairs were polished and the rails extended outwards, as if to welcome him. Jesse wasn’t sure if he should be here in the first place. Piero was a man of money, and yet he was kind enough to allow him to stay here at their home. Jesse followed Piero upstairs, neither man said anything.  Piero came to a stop in front of a oak door.  He opened the room and headed inside. Jesse looked around and saw the decent sized room. There was large bed with a closet and a chest. There was a large mirror on the opposite of the bed. A ceiling fan slowly rotated to give the room some cool air.

“Your room, you can stay as long as you want.” Piero said as he placed Jesse’s bag near the bed. “You got bathroom in your room so you can take a bath before dinner. And….” Piero studied Jesse for a minute. The man’s eyes studying him up and down as if he was taking account for something. “I be back.”

With that Piero walked out of the room, leaving Jesse alone once again. It didn’t take long however as he came back with a set of clothes in his hands.  Jesse blinked at the man’s gesture, he shook his head at the clothing that was placed on the bed. “No I couldn’ take them.”

“They were my brother’s.” Piero said bluntly. “You are his size so wear them after bath. We can wash your clothes as well. Dinner ready in two hours.” Piero left the room and shut the door, leaving him alone once again. The two small dragons appeared next to him once again. They were silent as Jesse began to undress. He took off his shirt first and set it on the floor. He turned to look at the large mirror and saw, for once, the new brand on his skin. It was an angry red brand, one that Jesse felt like his entire heart just fell to the floor. The tattoo was of a dragon moving around his arm. The clouds were a pale orange hue and the once crooked and symmetrical lines of lightning was replaced with light brown strokes. The dragon was red with pale yellow details making it to what it is. At the head of the dragon it had sharp horns, pointing at each other so that the middle had a vague shape. He couldn’t put his finger on it but he had seen that shape before.

Before he could think it through, Jesse reached his hand out to his tattooed arm. He ran his metal fingers along the lines of the tattoo. His eyes stung, it was as if there was something that wanted to get out of his chest. But there was nothing. He didn’t know why but there was nothing inside of him.  He ignores that sinking feeling and goes to take a bath, Jesse can’t help but to feel something inside of him. He wanted Hanzo next to him, he wanted his beloved to make everything go away. He wanted to feel better for everything that has happened.

Even in the shower, as hot water ran down his body he couldn’t help but to think that there was just something that was eating him on the inside. He closed his eyes he could imagine that Hanzo was right behind him. Embracing him and telling him that everything was okay and that he should head back to where he was needed. Jesse, let out a small laugh, even as they were far away Hanzo never did let him be alone. The archer would always know what to say to him. To comfort him in the times of weakness, and for Jesse it was those times that he loved Hanzo even more.

Once the water turned ice cold Jesse came out of the bathroom and began to dress up. It was a simple white shirt and black slacks. He put the clothing that he was given and lay down in his room. He saw nothing but the white walls looking back at him. The sky was now dark and he could hear a soft knock on the door. “Joel, its dinner.”

Jesse got up and walked downstairs to the kitchen. It was a big kitchen with what seemed to be a lot of appliances. The countertop was made of white marble, there were plants all around the kitchen. Next to the kitchen was the dining room, the large table was set and Piero and Mama Valentina were sitting at one end. On the table were plenty of dishes, several vegetable and a couple of meats were sitting on the table. There was a glass of wine set and a bottle close by. Jesse sat down and tensed. Mama Valentina leaned over to Piero and whispered into the man’s ear.  “Mama said to  not be shy, you can start eating at any time.”

Jesse nodded and tried to remember etiquette. Something that both Morrison and Reyes drilled into him for when he would go on missions of at a ball. He waited patiently for Valentina to serve herself and Piero to serve himself before going over and start serving himself. He took less than what he would normally eat and began to eat quietly. He listened to the two converse with themselves. He finished his plate and drank his wine. Piero stood up and served him another plate.

As he ate he could feel the eyes of Valentina on him. It wasn’t as obvious as it sounded, in fact if he hadn’t had the training that he had all his life, Jesse was pretty sure that he wouldn’t had notice it. After the third plate and third glass of wine, Jesse thanked them both for the meal and dismissed himself for the night. He went back to his room and locked the door. He took off his clothing and laid down in bed again. He stared at the ceiling once again until sleep overcame him and closed his eyes.

_Jesse looked at the sky, it was bright orange. He had been a member of Blackwatch for a few years. He slowly but surely grown up from that scrawny kid. He stared down at the watchpoint, he was smoking a cigarette and minding his own business. He closed his eyes, the coastline was close enough that he could hear the waves crash. It was a calm and peaceful later afternoon. In a couple of days it would be back to work but until then he could enjoy this for a little while longer._

_“Didn’t think you would be up here ingrate.” A voice said behind him. Jesse didn’t even turn as he continued to listen to the waves and the sound of footsteps coming close. The man leaned against railings and he could feel the man’s eyes on him. “Got an extra one?”_

_“Didn’ think you smoke Jefe.” Jesse mused as he reached to his pockets and handed Gabriel his cigarettes and lighter. He could hear as Gabriel lit a cigarette and enjoyed a smoke with him. They were both quiet for the time being, there was nothing to talk about. Both of them knew why they were here.  It was to relax. “So how’s you and Morrison?”_

_“That ain’t none of your fucking business kid.” Gabriel huffed in annoyance._

_“The hell it ain’t.” Jesse countered. “You made me miserable by distracting Morrison so you could get him that thing that’s in your pocket.”_ _  
_

_“The work does you good for once brat.” He could feel Gabriel roll his eyes at him.  “And I haven’t given to him yet.”_

_‘Then the fuck are you watin’ for Jefe?” Jesse opened his eyes as he tossed the butt of the cigarette out into the ground. He glanced back at Gabriel with and confused look on his face. “You love the guy right? Then head out there and tell him that.”_

_“Its hard alright?” Gabriel let out a sigh. “We’ve been partners and comrades for years. This is something new for both of us.”_

_“Hey Jefe?” Jesse’s eyes grew a little dark. “What does it feel like?”_

_“What?”_

_“To love someone?” He asked. The question took Gabriel by surprised, he could tell that the older man wasn’t ready to be asked something like that. There was a quiet moment between them. Neither made a sound as he waited for Gabriel to gather his thoughts._

_“Its weird.” Gabriel finally answered. “You think shit that you don’t normally would and feel things that wouldn’t even come across your mind. You want to be with that person for the rest of your life. And you want them to care for you as you care for them.”_

_“And…” Jesse continued. “If Morrison died one day? What happens then?”_

_“I lose half of myself.” Gabriel answered honestly, Jesse could see in the older man’s eyes that even the thought of Morrison dying pained him to no end. “Like there would be nothing else left to live for. But eventually I would have to continue on living, it would just leave a hole in my chest that no one could ever fill.”  Gabriel closed his eyes and then came back that normal resting bitch face that Jesse was familiar with. “But that won’t happen, I’m not going to let it.”_

_“Right boss.” Jesse mock saluted. “Then you better tell him then.”_

_“You’re a little shit you know that?” Gabriel let out a chuckle._

_“Well that’s what you get for making me work for you.”_

**Author's Note:**

> SHAMELESS PLUG HERE: I am in an Overwatch RP server and I would like to add more people to interact with. Inquire at whitewinguniverse on Tumblr for more info.
> 
> Have a nice day everyone~


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